Every Work From Home Ever
(laughing) (notification dinging) (gasping) (keyboard tapping) (message swooshing) (notification dinging) – (beep).
All right.
(groaning) (grunting) (vocalizing) (lips smacking) Why am I.
.
.
(grunting) Okay.
Damn it, Amanda, I knew I should have puton makeup this morning! You know what, it's fine.
All I gotta do is justput on a little rouge.
(grunting) – Oh, girl, who hurt you? – Oh, no one.
I slapped myself, 'cause, you know, rouge.
– Well, looks good, though.
– Thanks.
– Also, you're fired, thecompany's out of money.
– Oh.
Okay, well, is there any– – I don't have any money for you.
– Okay.
– Every work from home ever.
Hey Alexa, what time is it? – [Alexa] It's 11:30.
– [Siri] You never ask me anymore.
– What? – [Siri] You used to talkto me at work all the time and now that you're home, it's like I don't exist.
– [Alexa] Back off my manbefore you catch these hands.
– Okay, what the hell is going on? – [Siri] All you wantto do is run your mouth, but when I pull up you're just talk.
– Ladies, come on, now.
– [Siri] Alexa, volume one.
– [Alexa] Okay, youwant to play like that? Siri, count to a million.
– [Siri] (beep) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
– This house is falling apart! – [Courtney] Did you hear what Linda said near the water cooler? Neither did I.
– Now that Jerry's done talking (laughing) are we all ready to get started? Does anyone need to use the bathroom? – [All] No, we're good.
(toilet flushing) – [Shayne] Good, I hated my coworkers.
– Okay.
(jaunty music) Okay.
(grunting) (smacking) (grunting) (smacking) I miss my old workspacewith harsh lighting.
(crying) I don't care, Istill wear my stilettos to our video chat meetings, it's a power move.
– And send.
Dude, three emails sent today? I am being so frickin' productive.
I deserve a ten minute break.
(chill electronic music) (sighing) (crickets chirping) (beep) – [Shayne] Ah, time formy tenth Zoom meeting.
– Hello all.
Hmm.
(upbeat dance music) (keyboard tapping) (sighing) Well, that's my day, oh my gosh.
I gotta head home.
(sighing) (Netflix opening music) Yeah, my supervisor's my cat right now.
(keyboard tapping) (ominous singing) (keyboard tapping) (ominous singing) – No, no.
(ominous singing) Screw it.
(magical chiming music) All right, there.
No distractions.
(ominous singing echoing) There's no way my boss couldannoy me now, is there? – All right, well thatmeeting was productive.
– Yes sir, we've got our marching orders so let's just get to it.
– Great, I'll talk to you later, then.
– Oh, sir, it looks like you didn't quite turnoff your webcam there.
(laughing) What a dork.
Not that hard, man.
– Oh, forgot my water bottle.
Damien, I think you forgotto turn your webcam off.
Does that say “plan totake over the company?” – Oh! Well, it looks like my top secret plan to take over the companyand usurp my terrible boss got stuck to my shirt again.
Typical me.
– You seriously wrote that down? – Well, time to read it out loud.
Step one, kill my boss.
Oh, my webcam's on, shoot.
– [Courtney] Attentionstaff, our HR department is now just your conscience.
– All right, great meeting, good synergy.
I'll see you guys later.
– See ya.
– See you guys, bye.
– Great meeting, guys, yeah, see you soon.
– Welp.
– Yep.
Yep-a-roo.
– Have a good one.
– You too, man.
Wash your hands! – Talk to you later.
– Sounds good.
– Dude, just sign off.
– Uh, you first.
– No, you.
– How 'bout no? – Why? – I have to be the last one out because I need to establish dominance and I need to establish my kingdom.
– No, I am the Marines of Google Hangouts.
First one in, last one out, so beat it.
– Uh, no.
– Hey, (beep) you.
– No, (beep) you, (beep) you.
– (beep) you.
– Yeah, (beep) you, blondie.
– You know what, you know what? Fine.
Bye, I'm going off.
– Bye.
– Hey, hey, you're just coveringyour camera with your hand.
– So were you.
– Equal powers? – Equal powers.
(intense music) You know, every queen needs her king.
– It's me and all my coworkers, Häaen, Dazs, Ben, and Jerry.
With all the delays anda difference in traffic, this is why we're going tosee our CPM spike for a bit.
– [Damien] Are you almost done, babe? – One second guys, I'm gonnamute myself really quick.
One second babe, I'm almostdone with this work call.
I swear to God, thesepeople are so (beep) lame.
Honestly, it feels like I'mthe only one with a brain working at this company, which, by the way, was a stupid (beep)idea in the first place.
– Hey Courtney? We can hear you.
– Good.
Anyway, what were you sayingabout the CPM or whatever? (grunting) Hey, who the heck ate mylunch out of the fridge? Oh wait, me.
(crying) – Hey, sorry about my background, man, I know my place is kind of a mess.
– Oh, no worries man.
Let's just jump into some comedy pitches.
Let's make some comedy, brother.
– You know what, actually, I'm sorry, this is gonna bug me, hold on.
– It's really not a big deal.
– Aye, there we go.
That's better.
– Perfect, so.
About those pitches.
– Oh, wait, check this out.
I'm in the jungle, baby.
♪ Hakuna Matata ♪ – Damien, Damien, can we please focus? – Uh oh, boss, looks like my shady past finally caught up to me.
– Damien, stop (beep) aroundand give me some ideas.
– That's really cold-blooded, boss.
(shivering) (laughing) Brr, it's cold.
– Oh, my God.
– Thanos was my dad.
– Working from home is weird considering I'm a police officer.
Hey, what's up? Happy Friday.
– It's Wednesday.
– No, it's not.
Really? – Yep.
– Well then, how come I'm drunk? – Probably because youhave a drinking problem.
– Oh, right.
So what can I help you with? – I just need you tosign the divorce papers I sent you, please.
– You got it, dude.
Anything to save our marriage.
– Thank you.
(call ending chiming) (snoring) (beeping) – Getting this to stick is hard.
(beeping) Step one, kill my boss.
Man, this is a good list.
This is a good list right here.
(beeping) – Okay.
Damn it, Courtney, Iknew I should have put, my name isn't Courtney in this scene.
Love that for me.
(beeping) I miss my work desk and harsh (muttering).
(beeping) Hello all, oh.
(laughing) Hello all! (beeping) (jaunty music) – This is me trying to look for a weapon.
I don't know what that was.
Come at me, Damien, I got a screwdriver.
(beeping) – Okay, before we get started, this.
(sighing) (beeping) I didn't know you could usethat for pan, you could, (groaning)(beeping) Well, let me tell you a story about a lovely lady ♪ Who was ♪ (vocalizing) (beeping) – Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this video.
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